Sunday, September 27, 2009

That's Right Neighborly!


The neighbor behind me has a giant oak tree growing on his property. It hasn't been trimmed in years, and a portion of it hangs over my back yard. Last week the neighbor came over to tell me that he was getting several trees on his property trimmed, including the one hanging over my yard. After a few minutes of pleasantries and small talk, the conversation went this way:

Neighbor: So, can the tree trimmer come into your yard tomorrow to access the tree and to clean up any branches that fall?

Me: That sounds fine. Just tell him to make sure to move any of the potted plants or items that might get damaged from falling branches.

Neighbor: Sure, sure. They're finishing up the tree that hangs onto Susie's property today. She's paying for half since it's on her side. (Long pause and significant stare.)

Me (Confused): So...you're asking me to pay for half of the trimming?

Neighbor: I'll tell you what: he's charging me $500 for the tree. I'll pay $300 and you can pay $200.

Me (Moronically): Well, I guess so...

That was the basic gist of it. So I'm feeling like a big loser, and friends and family aren't alleviating that feeling when they tell me what they would've said to the neighbor who isn't behaving in the most neighborly way. I mean, I've got some huge trees on my property, and I would never even think about asking neighbors to share the cost when I've got to have those trees trimmed. I was caught off guard by the audacity of the moment.

It gets better.

The next day, I come home and find the tree trimmer finishing up the last bit of work. I ask him how much he would charge me to trim one of my trees.

Tree trimmer: Well, your tree is a lot bigger than the neighbor's, so I'd charge more for this one.

Me (Cleverly): Oh? How much did you charge him?

Tree trimmer: $400.

You have got to be kidding me. Come collect.

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